It has been a busy month

I can't believe how fast the time is flying these past few weeks. I had to blow off another book club meeting and was unable to even get past chapter 3 of the book, 'The Painter from Shanghai". I loved the book from the first paragraph, but I was too busy to stay focused on a book. I've been crafting and prepping for the holidays, spending time with friends and family and working. However, I thought I would share one quick story and some pictures. The forest picture was taken about 10 miles from our house where we hunted and cut down our own Christmas tree.

My daughter was the victim of some teasing at school and was told by the "mean boys" that she was bad and that Santa wasn't going to bring her anything for Christmas. She believed them, but not her parents. Then, she received a letter in the mail from Santa Claus. She began to believe that he would visit. She was sad again when she said, "Santa isn't going to visit me because I don't need anything from him." I was proud of this. She realized she had had everything she needed, but on the other hand I wanted to cheer her up. "Maybe he'll bring something you haven't thought of and surprise you." She liked that idea alot, but as the month progressed she decided she wanted a train from Santa. She drew a picture and wanted to mail it to Santa. She based the picture on one of her favorite books about Tootle the Train. So, Santa delivered an electric train fully installed under the tree for Christmas morning. She loved it and squealed, etc. She was happy Santa ate the cookies she had made and that Rudolph ate the apple she left for him. Then....a couple days later she was in the bathtub lost in deep thought. She then says to me, "How come Santa didn't bring me a wooden train set?" Ah, guess she'll have to learn to be more specific next time.

Road Trip!!!

Yep, we finally did a roadtrip. Due to a scheduling error in my favor, I ended up with a 5-day weekend. Of course, that meant I had to work the whole Thanksgiving holiday weekend. We loaded up the car and headed north to Mendocino, Fort Bragg and Humboldt Redwoods State Park and down through Napa Valley. The scenery was fantastic. The wine country is just gorgeous in Fall. The daughter struggled with the concept of where we were going and what a roadtrip was all about, but she started to get the hang of it by the last day.

We drove through a redwood tree, walked the streets of Mendocina, went to a Pygmy Forest, and saw Glass Beach in Fort Bragg. I love exploring on roadtrips.

Happy Halloween!

I was able to help at the daughter's school this morning for the Halloween festivities and it was a blast. She was so excited, she was up at 6 a.m. bouncing around the house yelling 'It's Halloween!!." And, we have creepy, blustery Fall weather with leaves blowing around everywhere. We hope you have a great day. I've included some October pictures for your enjoyment. One includes a shot of my latest 'thing.' :)

"Hurly burly"

Loving the foggy Fall morning

Oh, thank the goddess. Foggy Fall weather has arrived with chilly mornings and the strong possibility of rain this weekend. I took the dog for the morning walk and I just loved taking in big breaths of that wet, cool foggy air. Everything seems so hushed and muffled. Things are in a grey haze more than 2 blocks ahead. Mmmm. Loving it!

Of course, some trick-or-treaters and a certain soccer girl may be getting a bit wet, but it is about time we got some moisture around here.

Hooray!

Oohh, and my new toy arrived today from Hong Kong. Pictures to follow. What a happy day!

In God We Trust?

Over the last few years, it seems like the Christian-based religious groups in this country are gaining too much power. It really raises the hackles of my strict Constitutionalism beliefs. People came to this country for freedom. Freedom from oppressive regimes, from religious persecution, poverty, etc. The founding fathers made sure that our rights would be guaranteed in the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. They explained how there should be a separation of Church and State. I love that history. I love our roots. People come to our country now because of that, claiming asylum from persecution from another country and we take them in.

What I fear though is that we maybe slowly slipping into more of a religious state as the religious groups gain more political power and have their views legislated, placed in state constitutions and sometimes brought to the Supreme Court.

The latest thing to really get my goat is Proposition 8 in California. It is a proposition to add an amendment to the state's constitution that defines marriage as only between a man and a woman, thus negating all the same-sex marriages performed in this state. If you listen to the people for this proposition, they are essentially arguing for the state constitution to back-up their religious beliefs. I do respect their religious beliefs, but I have a HUGE problem with them wanting the government to support their beliefs and make them law. It is just another step closer to a religious state. The part that really makes me even more upset, is that legislation like this has been passed already in 29 of our other states! Don't people realize what this is doing? We are legislating religion into our government and limiting the rights of our citizens. I just want to scream it from the rooftops at the injustice of it.

Of course, don't get me started on the "In God We Trust" on the money (For some history on that go here). Or prayer in schools. Or putting "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance.

I had hoped if I ranted a little about it, I would feel better, but I am still steamed. I have run into people this past week that think Prop 8 is about teaching homosexuality and same sex marriages in school. As far as I know, marriages of any kind are not part of the standard curriculum. I don't even want to know what my blood pressure is like right now.

Reading, Reading, Reading,

My goodness, I have read a lot of books this month. I finished 'A Dragonfly in Amber' by Galbadon and 'Casino Royale' by Fleming. I also finished 'Twilight' by Stephenie Meyers. All three were so different in story and style it was like going from hard, to somewhat complicated to way easy. I am debating my next book. I am being told I should finish the rest of the 'Twilight' series, but I am trying out a book club and they are meeting in December to discuss 'Painter from Shanghai' by Epstein. I also have the other books in the Galbadon series and I have 'Live and Let Die' from the Fleming collection, plus a stack of miscellaneous books that I picked up at the used book store sale. AND.... I am taking a class on CCRN certification so I should be studying for that exam as well.

As for 'A Dragonfly in Amber,' I enjoyed it but it was much more dense on the political plot twists as the characters ended up in the France with the French court. I enjoyed it, but it was a harder read than the first book and not quite as thrilling for me. 'Casino Royale' had a slow start for me as the writing style was so different I was put off and was reading the same chapter over and over. Once I got into it, I understood why the movies were made and why people love Bond. The book spends too much time explaining how to play baccarat so I kind of skimmed over some of those sections. Overall, it was fun read.

'Twilight.' How can I justify that I read this book? It sucked me in (funny pun considering it is about vampires) and I finished it within days. I enjoyed how the author captured the emotions of the first teenage crush and all the angst about the first kiss. She also does a wonderful job describing the town and surrounding terrain. The dialogue between the vampire boyfriend and the teen girl, is cheeky and cute too. It is about a teenage girl that falls for a 'good' vampire. These vampires hunt bears, cougars, etc in the mountains. They can be out in the sun. The head of the 'family' is the town's doctor. They go to high school. It's like those old Sweet Valley High novels some of us read in junior high, except the love interest is a vampire and that is a huge secret you can't share with your friends or parents. You can look for the movie coming out in late November. I think they would have been better off with a tv series or mini-series. We'll see.

I think I may take a reading break and do some crafting and studying instead. Hmmmm.

"Tut-tut. It looks like rain."

At least that is what Pooh had Christopher Robin say as he was trying to pretend to be a rain cloud. We have lots of rain clouds in our skies. They are the first I can remember seeing in months and it almost feels muggy outside. Who knows, maybe we finally be blessed with some precipitation tomorrow . . . although that could mean Assistant Coach Dad and Soccer Player Daughter would be playing their game tomorrow in the rain.

Wondering why I haven't posted in awhile? I finished "Shadow of the Wind" and started "A Dragonfly in Amber," by Diana Galbadon. I finished two Renaissance Faire costumes (see picture below). I went to Disneyland for a few days (See pic to the left). I joined facebook.com. Anyone who is on there may understand the time drain that place can be :) And, I have been attempting to hack up a lung, aka battling allergies and asthma.

As for the books, "Shadow of the Wind" sucked me in from the first amazing chapter. I was in love. The first chapters describe a young boy's discovery of that first life changing book. Any avid reader knows what that is about. That first book you stumble across that makes you crave more books by that author or want to own the book or re-read passages multiple times. However, as the book progressed, the plot became so twisted and convoluted, I was about to throw it at the wall in frustration. I couldn't do that though, as it was lent to me by Newt. So I soldiered on, then there was a line where I caught myself saying an expletive out loud and I nearly burned the book. BUT . . . I endured and finished it and it was well worth it. It really was engrossing and full of rich detail. I was transported and loved it for that. I'll keep you posted on the latest Galbadon book.

Surfing the net lately

Ever played with that feature on blogger "next blog" that just randomly picks blogs for you to peruse. On those lazy mornings when I am home alone, sometimes I do that see what I'll find. Sometimes I actually will go to the links some of my family and friends send me in their joke/junk emails. You know, those emails that have been forwarded a ba-zillion times and seem to make the circuit every year. Sometimes I search for old 80s videos on youtube. Well, a few interesting sites came across my computer this week.

Dirty Car Art. Yep, that is right. I guy creates masterpieces in the grime left in your windows after not washing your car for like a year. Check it out: http://www.dirtycarart.com/

Women Suffragates

. I have been a registered voter since I turned 18. I have voted in every election except one year where I had moved and hadn't re-registered. That being said, I had completely forgotten the story of the women who fought for my right to vote. Some info is available here: http://www.hbo.com/films/ironjawedangels/history/

After going to this site, I stumbled across this picture and had to post it here. I am a democrat and was suprised by this picture. I think I need to research the donkey logo and party history a bit more. Another site to use for more info on this story is here: http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/collections/suffrage/nwp/prisoners.pdf

Cell Phone Art. It is a topic I have been thinking about a lot lately because I see everywhere people taking pictures and videos with their cell phones. I am very guilty of this activity as well and started looking for some stuff on cell phone art. I found this site that actually is sponsoring a contest hosted by one of the Coppolas. http://www.pahnation.com/awards_cellphone.php Then this guy creates art from using the actual phones : http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5966005 And lastly, this was the kind of site I really wanted to find. All pictures taken of random things around the city using a cell phone http://www.sleepyurbanite.com/

And lastly, I'll share a phone photo I took last night watching football. Yes, it is British beer mixed with American football. I like a little irony and good beer in my life. Unfortunately the beer wasn't good enough to make the Raider game enjoyable.

Bad word problems make me all grumpy

Things were hopping at work yesterday. If a patient wasn't leaving the unit for a procedure, they were doing a procedure at bedside. I was stuck as the lunch/ break nurse. Thank goodness we didn't have any codes or RRT calls though, only a couple admissions and transfers. I was running almost all day which makes a 12 hour shift go hella-fast. It was nice considering it has been so slow lately.

However, one of the dreaded responsibilities of the lunch/break nurse is to do patient care assignments for the next shift. That means I have to look at the staffing sheet to determine who is coming and who is supposed to be the lunch/break nurse for the next shift. We also then have to factor in who is regular staff, per diem, traveler (contract nurse only working for us for a few weeks) and preceptee (a new hire to the unit that needs training and assigned to a regular staffer, who hopefully has an interesting assignment to promote learning). Other factors to consider is how sick are the patients, are they on isolation, on a ventilator and how close the patients' rooms are to each other so that the nurses can better see their patients. Additionally, unless you have had special training, certain types of patients, like our stroke patients or ones that came in for stent placement, can't be assigned to you. Plus, if you have staff that are coming in that worked the day before, they typically like to have their same patients back. Sound hard? It kind of is, but it gets worse. You then have to factor in the attitudes of people when they show up and complain about their assignments. Sounds like one of those math word problems from hell that we had to solve in Algebra class.

Well, I tried to factor in all those things when I did the assignments and I still had problems. It didn't help that we had a very sick patient that was on their way to us that had to go to a specially trained nurse that ended up dying around 7:20pm before making it to our unit (Shift change occurs between 7-7:30pm). That added to even more assignment shuffling. Lots of gripes. I think even one person in particular was mad at me when I left even after I had made multiple changes to the assignments based on the comments that started flying at 7pm. So, I left feeling a lot of angst.

I understand why most of our senior staff dislike the lunch/break position. I also understand even more how nice it must be when I show up and take any assignment they throw at me without complaining, even if it is lunch/break nurse. I am pretty sure I have grumbled about assignments in the past, but I take them anyway. I'll try next time to not even grumble.

Oh sooooo giddy

I'm bouncing and it is either from the free extra shot of espresso in my iced non-fat latte or the horde of books and movies I just picked up from 1/2 priced books. Oh yeah, the used book store was having a huge Labor Day weekend sale....$1 paperbacks or 10 books for $5 and $1videos and 20% off anything and everything in the store. Yep, I went a little nuts and so did the husband. I left him still there and I spent almost $100. Sooooo many books and now, so much caffeine rushing thru my veins. Where do I begin??

Some of the things I picked up:
- Beautiful hard cover editions (like coffee table edition sized) with illustrations of Alice and Wonderland and The Wind in the Willows
- The Velveteen Rabbit ....family tradition there, long story
- Several Ian Flemming paperbacks: I finally own Casino Royale!

- Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator: It is the edition I read when I was 9 years old!! I now only need the same edition of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
- Some of the Outlander series by Galbadon (Yes, I will share them as soon as I am done)
- A couple of kids' movies we didn't own yet
- a few interesting looking paperbacks

There were some books in particular that I was looking for by Laurell K Hamilton, but the section on the shelf for that author had a huge space, as if someone had just swiped everything by her.

So long old blue friend

Inky is gone. Yep, sold him this morning. I took for a last drive last night with the daughter and had the husband take pictures. I will miss him, but it is time he goes to a new family that can maybe give him more TLC than I could.

I remember:

- My first and only ticket with you was the night I bought you. I took my friend cruising Friday night and since I didn't have new tags yet, I got pulled over for a fix it ticket.

- The gas fumes that plagued you the first couple years

- The broken fuel gauge that left me stranded only once

- The way you slowly putted up to Mt Hamilton observatory

- The daughter's face light up the first time she rode in the back and felt the rumble of your engine

- The sounds and smells of driving on a clear night and the feel of the air blowing on my face

- Almost maxing out my free tows from AAA in one year

- The constant slow dribble of leaks from under the car

- The looks of kids faces as they saw you drive by

- The friendly waves from other VW owners when we passed on the roads

- Changing your oil and adjusting your valves

- The shimmies were so bad at 55 mph that your side view mirror fell off on the drive home from Hollister and was just praying that nothing else would fall off

- Push starting you when the battery died

- Christmas day picnic at the beach

We will miss you Stinky Inky.

I met a cool lady

I have to write about this one because I can't stop thinking about her. I was debating whether I should or not, but maybe writing about it will free my mind a bit.

I met a woman who is practically my age with a young one at home. She has tattoos, loves motorcycles and was about to get married to her significant other of several years, but something happened that allowed me to meet her. She was diagnosed with leukemia and eventually ended up in the ICU. She had been tired at home and started having some weird bruising. What she thought might be nothing turned into an immediate hospitalization and her first round of chemotherapy.

Her white blood cell count was so low that we had to be extra careful with infection control measures. Her platelets were so low, she was bleeding and brusing easily. Overall though, she was stable in ICU, just getting chemotherapy and lots of blood transfusions. She keeps talking about how she wants to go home and take a shower and see her kids. Her and I have had lots of time to talk and she has maintained strong attitude so far.

As her condition started to improve I set her up for walk around the unit. I put a mask on her and hooked her up to our portable monitor. Her S.O. was there so he went with us. I then led her out our double doors to see the outside. In my mind, this was a simple thing and a no-brainer thing to do, considering I had the time and I know mobility does great things for patients. What I didn't realize in my busy day was how important this was for her emotionally.

As she was walking across the unit she made a comment about her thinning hair and two ladies visiting their mother (also on our unit due to complications from cancer) heard her. They gave her beaming smiles and one said, "You look beautiful."

We kept walking. We made it to the double doors to the outside stairwell. As she stood on the back stairwell looking outside, she started to cry. She hadn't seen the outside in about 30 days. It was a beautiful day too. Trees so green. View so clear. Gentle breeze. Warm. Sunny. No clouds. But to her, it was the best view she had probably ever seen. She reached over to hold her husband's hand and said, 'This is the first time we have held hands since I was admitted to the hospital.' They were so afraid of her giving her an infection, he hadn't touched her.

Of course, I later told them they could hold hands and about how to wash hands, etc. But, I almost cried with her in that moment and I have been on the verge of crying every time I think about her situation. She says she wants to get a tattoo on her head once she is totally bald but she isn't sure yet. We joked about one possibility, "If you can see this, my hair has fallen off." It was in reference to the shirts her and her husband wear while riding their motorcycles. "If you can see this, the bitch has fallen off" or "If you can read this, the bastard won't let me drive."

Now you can probably understand why I am always on about not sweating the small stuff and enjoy life and your health while you got it.

So many books

Since the last post, I finished 'Son of a Witch', 'Interworld' and 'Mistral's Kiss.' With that last book, I have read all the books in the Gentry Fairy series except for 'A Touch of Frost' and a new one due out this Fall. Whew, no wonder I have had no posts lately. 'Son of a Witch' is a sequel to 'Wicked.' It is an interesting book that was a difficult start for me, but after the first couple chapters it picked up a bit more. It had lots of links back to 'Wicked' and did have some of intrigue, religion and politics of Oz, but I'd have to say the story wasn't as rich and complicated as that of 'Wicked.' 'Interworld' was a fun little adventure story that I think would make a great SciFi series. It is about time travel, paralell worlds and endless possibilties. 'Mistral's Kiss' was the weakest storyline yet out of this series. I was mildy disappointed and left wanting a lot more. I'll be looking for the next one in the used book store. Speaking of which, I have managed to abstain from the used bookstore, but they are having a big sale this Labor Day Weekend and I have those days off. I am so heading there Friday. My next book will be 'The Shadow of the Wind.' Looks like it will be a great one.

I also been working on the little one's new RenFaire costume. I'll post some pictures soon.

In other news, Inky (my VW) may have found a new home. That is a mixed bag of good news and bad news.

Gearing up to a new book

I have been in a rather addictive frenzy of late re-reading my Meredith Gentry Fairy Princess novels by Laurell K Hamilton. I could barely put them down and sometimes my eyes burned or my wrists hurt from holding the book in certain positions for too long. Now, I think that borders on addiction, eh? Especially since I read them all over a year ago. Anywho, I only own the first 4 books and the 5th and 6th books are missing from the library so I picked up a book a friend mailed me. Did I mention I plowed through all 4 books in less than 2 weeks? I think I needed a pick-me-up after reading 'Cold Mountain' and 'The Mermaid's Chair.'

Starting to read this new book, 'Interworld', was kind of awkward, but in a good way. You can read a certain author for a while and then when you pick up a new book, those first few chapters feel like you are driving a car you have never driven before and you haven't even been driving for a few months. It feels like that. The style is so different. The story so different. It is kind of fun. You can feel the gears in your brain being jolted and shifted to take in the new style of writing.

In other news, I am doing some serious purging and cleaning around the house. It has been slow at work so I have been working 8 hour shifts instead of 12 and this past Wednesday they asked if I would be willing to stay home and just take a vacation day. I guess people aren't that sick during the summer. So, I went through all my binders and stuff I had used for school the past few years and purged a ton. I filled our paper recycling bin (it is an huge bin, by the way) to about 1/2 to 2/3 full. Then, I felt compelled to clean the inside, outside and underneath-side of the fridge which blossomed into mopping the floors. I mowed the backyard, trimmed the trees and did some sweeping. I did laundry, and other chores. During all this and more manual labor around the house, I starting scheming about how I could afford to have a housekeeper come to my house 2 times a month to do the hard core cleaning. I'll keep you posted on those plans.

I want to go to 1/2 priced books this week and not just to try and sell some books. I want that 5th and 6th Hamilton book. I almost think I should be banned from those books for awhile. ;)

Enjoying the summer

I've had two camping trips in the last 3 weeks. One up to the redwoods for hiking and enjoying the trees and one near a hot lake where we swam, kayaked and canoed. It was such a contrast in camping and makes me appreciate where we live even more. The redwoods were only about an hour drive away and the hot lake was almost 2 hours away. Such diversity, so close to home.

In other outdoor news, the daughter and I were trying to explore a lake park near us (maybe 2 miles away) and we brought Howie, the dog. The walk started off great, but then the trail didn't exacly continue around the lake and we explored around and found an entrance to other side of the park. However, we were stopped by a park ranger. He says no dogs allowed. It is the same lake we were walking on from the other side, but no dogs allowed on this side of the lake. We were very disappointed and I am not sure I want to go back to that park. Of course, it started a discussion with the daughter about why dogs are not allowed. The school that is about 1 block from our house has a playground so we used to walk over there a lot to play and would often bring Howie. Recently signs went up saying no dogs are allowed there. So, the daughter started talking about it as well. Basically, because people can't be trusted to clean up after their dogs or to keep them on leash, they have to ban them from certain parks. I guess it is good for her to learn about responsibility and accountability at a younger and younger age.

Still disappointing. Poor Howie.

Feeling antsy but going nowhere

These past few months I have these feelings that I need change. I am ready for something new. I feel like I am in a rut of a personal, social, creative and professional level . . . like my whole life. I am approaching my 40s, is it a mid-life crisis? Life is good in our little slice of suburbia. Everyone is healthy. We have solid jobs. Marriage is solid. But, I feel like I need some kind of change. It is the same old, tired, yet comfortable routine.

I keep thinking I need some new friends, but I haven't really had to make any in years. I don't even know how to go about it. I want to try new activities. I am sick of having free time and no one to spend it with. I am done with being fat. I feel like I am boring and socially repressed. What happened to the 20-something girl that would spin on the beach or stay up all hours? What happened to that sense of adventure that led to me parachute or ride off-road motorcycles? What about all those travel plans? How about just getting out and doing stuff all the time? Exploring our surroundings? Maybe I need a new tattoo?!

I look at the free-spirited, independent, socially exuberant daughter and realize I used to be like that too. Maybe that is the cause for the self-reflection? I see me in her and I realize I am not like that anymore. I am old, tired and stuck in a rut of comfortableness.

And despite all this, what do I do? Just the same routine. Walk the dog. Go to the gym. Clean the house. Yardwork. Shopping. Take the daughter to her activities. Watch tv. Read a couple books now and then. Read about the exciting lives of others. Do some craft or house projects. Yawn.

How do I pull myself out of this rut? Or, is it really a rut? Well, housework calls.

Elation at work lasts only seconds

The last few shifts at work they have had me out of direct patient care. I have either been the lunch break nurse, resource nurse (means we are overstaffed and I am just to help out) or in an auditing role. I've been there two years and they have me on a committee and doing the role of lunch break nurse. So, imagine my joy on Monday morning when I show up and I am assigned one of the sickest patients and they are a 1:1. That means I have only one patient and I am going to be hell-a-busy. I was so excited. I could hear "Walking on Sunshine" in my head. I skipped over to get report on my patient from the night shift nurse and the record playing in my head skipped and stopped. A new nurse, new hire to ICU was assigned to be with me. Yep, I with only 2 years of nursing experience was expected to orient this nurse to our unit.

Man, was I bummed. I was just wanted to take care of my patient and stayed focused in my work and now I was expected to do all this training as well. Ah, welcome to the rollercoaster of emotions that is my job.

And the morning got a little sadder around 10am. A patient I had cared for in ICU a few months ago had been transferred out to the medical surgical ward of the hospital. He died this morning. His son came by ICU to tell some of his dad's favorite nurses about his dad's death. I gave him a huge HUG. I really cared for his dad. I still carry a thank you card from him in my work bag. Once in awhile, I close my eyes and I can see his warm smile and hear his deep chuckle. Good-bye Mr V. I hope they have great BBQ in the place you have moved on to and that it reminds you of Philly in the summer time.

So as not to end this entry on a complete bummer note, enjoy the video below. Praise Jeebus for youtube.com!!

Feets of Fancy

Just an advertisement for my friend in Minnesota who is doing some fundraising for multiple sclerosis. Check it out. These gals sure do love their shoes.

http://feetsoffancy.blogspot.com/

That flower on the corner

Just over a year ago (June 7, 2007), I blogged about a random act of decorating. There is a street corner on the way to the daughter's daycare that someone is decorating with fake flowers. Well, this person is still at it and has changed the flowers yet again.

In other news, I can't sleep. I recorded "Cold Mountain" off the tv and watched that when I got home from work tonight, but the house is empty and too quiet. The family is having a sleepover. Something they often do on the weekends that I work. As for the movie, the book and movie ending were almost exactly the same. The movie changed a few elements, but stayed true to the overall story line. The problem with the movie is that the book was actually more rich in detail than any movie could ever really be. The movie was ok and Renee Zelweigger (how the heck do you spell that anyway) was brilliant. She brought the character of Ruby to life for me. She was spot on. I did not like Jude Law as Inman. He was too pretty for the role. I pictured someone a little more squinty eyed and rugged, none of which would be used to describe Jude Law, ever.

Well, maybe I'll read some work magazines. That should put me to sleep. It is getting late and I have to work tomorrow as well. This is the end of day 1 of my 3-day work week.

I finished "Cold Mountain"

From the first page of this novel, I thought, "Whoa. This is like fine literature and stuff." I re-read the first page a couple times. It wasn't a typical page turner, but each page was loaded with imagery and thought provoking observations. I felt like I was there at times and could feel the weather the author was describing. It also reminded me a bit of 'The Odyssey.' It is the story of people caught in the dark side of the American Civil War. It also included insights about farming, birding and life during that time frame. At times, I thought it would be cool to be working a self-sufficient farm where you traded for what you needed and didn't really use money, to be so intuned with nature and your surrounding environment, so tied to the land. I enjoyed the book a lot and I think it is one I will re-read, but throughout the book, there was this undercurrent that something bad was going to happen in the end of the book. And, it did kind of have a tragic ending. I now kind of want to see the movie. I know it had a few Oscar nominations, which makes me think they may have followed the book well. Oscar loves a saga with a tragic ending.

Anywho, some sad things have beening going on work. I almost cried a couple times and the book didn't help. So, I am taking a little break before starting my next book, 'The Mermaid Chair.' As for work, all day Tuesday I just kept saying, " This isn't happening to me. It is happening to them and my job is to do this . . ." This mantra was followed by a couple of deep breaths.

A trip to the gym is in order and some time enjoying the family . . . and maybe a beer . . . or two. Got to savor life while you got a healthy one.

Plum season

Yep, our prolific plum tree is bursting with plummy goodness. We had it trimmed last fall and some of the plums are huge this year. They are falling on the ground faster than we can pick them from the tree. I've taken some to work and they are very popular there. I had one co-worker offer to pay me to bring her more. I told her to come on by and get all the plums she wants for free before they go to waste. For your enjoyment, some plum-alicious pictures.

WHEEEEE!!!! A new swing

I am so proud of myself that I am bragging about what I did last week. I hung a tree swing for the daughter from our huge tree in the front yard. I climbed on the ladder. I tied the knots. And, I didn't fall of the ladder and the knots held. Now, I might be lucky (that could be about 90% the case) or just a awesome. I want to go with " cool mom" for now. The daughter is happier than a monkey in a banana tree and loves being out in the front yard on her new swing. She wants to show anyone who walks by her new swing. She makes all kind of silly noises to draw attention to her new swing. I wish I had done it sooner. Now, I am thinking of getting an old tire and chain and hanging it from another branch. It is an amazing tree in our front yard. I am so thankful to whoever planted that tree smack in the middle of the yard. I'll stop now before my true tree-hugger nature really comes out. However, it has to be one of the best ways I have ever spent $20.

A knight's tale. . . no longer funny??

Oh no. It hit me. "A knight's tale" was on tv tonight and I switched to it and thought how much I loved that movie and how it made me smile and laugh. We even own on it on DVD. The first scene was a joust with Heath Ledger and I felt overwhelmed with sadness and I almost wanted to cry. No happy-good feelings. I realized it was the first Ledger movie I had seen since he had died. Ugh. I had to change the channel. I am sure this will pass, but I sure wish I had been able to enjoy the movie tonight.

In other news, I have read even more books. Yes, I finished "Outlander"by Gabaldon. Quite the page turner, even if at times I but unbelievable. I really found myself fancying the large Scottish redhead Jaime Fraser. I also finished my other book, "Critical Care: The making of an ICU Nurse." It was great to read a book at times where it felt like the author had read my mind. It was just so validating and made me feel less crazy. The ending was a bit abrupt and hurried, but I think I may re-read it someday. Oh, and yes the book worm frenzy is alive as I even finished "The Golden Compass." I had seen the movie first and found the movie ok with some occasional fantastic moments, but the book was sooooooo much better. I thought the scene in the movie where the polar bears have a huge fight was epic. In the book, it was even more epic. Also, I was constantly amazed at how the author was able to remember or to get inside the head of a 10 year old child. I actually want to see the movie again now and I can't wait for my daughter to be able to read the story.

The other day I browsed the sales piles at the book store and picked up 2 new books to read. "The Mermaid Chair" and "Cold Mountain." They look like two completely different styles of fiction, but they looked interesting.

So, I flipped back to a "A Knight's Tale" and it was a funny scene and I still couldn't laugh. Ugh. I miss Heath.

All grown up now

I am in a bit a of a dilemma. My 4 yr old daughter will be turning 5 soon and she thinks that makes her all grown up and that she doesn't need any toys anymore. Several times over the past couple weeks, she keeps telling me she wants to get rid of all her toys because when she is 5 she won't need toys anymore. She wants to give them to someone else to play with. She doesn't even want her dress-up clothes anymore.

We have asked her many times, "Are you sure?" "What about when your friends come over, what are you going to play if you have no toys?" "Do you want anything for your birthday?"

She says, "No, I don't want anything. I just don't want my toys anymore." She did say she wants to keep all her books because when she learns how to read in Kindergarten, she wants to read her books all by herself.

So, I am thinking if this continues one for another week, I will enter her room with bags and boxes and help her get rid of toys. Any thoughts on that? I am thinking I may store a couple of special toys for when she is older, but I can't believe she doesn't want any toys?!?

Roses and free coffee

I had one of those evenings at work where I realized it could have been the script for one of those medical drama tv shows. Mind you, the only medical tv shows I watch are "House" or "scrubs" and I never have watched "ER", but I hear those drama shows eat stuff like this up.



At about 6:00 pm, we hear an overhead call for the Rapid Response Team (aka, RRT call). This is like a call for help from a nurse on the floor, outside of ICU, who has a patient that is suddenly not doing well and needs immediate help before the patient becomes worse. Sometimes these RRT calls turn into "Code Blue" calls if the patient goes into cardiac or respiratory arrest. Other times, the problem is solved by the RRT team and the patient is stabilized. The charge nurse from ICU, a couple of assistant managers and at least 1 respiratory therapist respond to the RRT calls.



On this RRT call, the patient is still "ok" (by ok, i mean barely breathing, horrible skin color, drenched in sweat, eyes wide and bulging and barely able to say 'ok'), but if we don't do something soon he will be a code call. They attempted to stabilize him and transport him to ICU for immediate intubation (to be placed on a ventillator). It must have been a busy day for the anesthesiologists, because it turns out we only have one anesthesiologist left available who can really intubate a patient for us in this situation. The other doctors that could do this for us in ICU are in the OR or not in the hospital yet. It turns out the doctor that is in our ICU attempting to help with our patient is being paged back to labor and delivery for an emergency c-section (emergency surgical removal of the baby from the mom).



He is looking at us while on the phone and calmly asking the the nurse calling about the c-section if he has 5 minutes. She told him the baby wasn't doing well and maybe they would have 5 minutes. He never lost his cool, panicked, yelled or anything. Calm and cool all the way, but the look in the doctor's eyes said volumes. He was looking down into the face of a 60+ year old man that if we don't treat soon would die and just hung up on a nurse dealing with a young woman and her unborn child. A patient nearer the end of his life who can't breathe and a patient just trying out life for the first time and hasn't even taken its first breath. All the chaos in that ICU room stopped for a second to recognize this problem and the next second we moved lightning fast to get our patient on the ventillator as fast as possible so the doctor could go help with the delivery of the baby. I think we had our patient entubated in less than 1 minute and the doctor ran downstairs.


We found out later, the c-section was very complicated and 4 doctors were down there but they had a happy outcome. Baby boy and mom were doing ok. As for our patient on ICU, he ended up not making it and passed away about 3 hours later.



It had me thinking though. A new life comes into the world in the room directly below us, while one life leaves us. And meanwhile, all around us in the hospital these types of things are happening everyday.



So, when I was enjoying breakfast at Starbucks with my daughter this morning, I really savored everything. Every breath I took, even if it meant I was standing in line or waiting at a stop light, was special. The daughter's chattiness was enjoyed more as health and vitality. The morning was gorgeous!





Then I experienced a littly pity for a man who came in to Starbucks. He reminded me of the man that had died last night. In his 60s, big belly maybe 5' 8". He asked for a small decaf coffee and when he was told he would have to wait 3 whole minutes for a fresh cup, said, "Ok, I'll have small regular coffee." He was told that the regular coffee was also brewing and he could just have a cup of coffee on the house in less than 3 minutes. What did he do? He huffed and stormed out of the shop. He was just offered a free cup of coffee if he could manage to control himself and wait 3 whole minutes. That kind of anger and stress, plus the weight, his age . . . adds up to trip to an ICU near you soon. I wanted to touch his shoulder, as he was standing next to me and say, "3 minutes isn't long and it is a free coffee. Breath. Relax. Then enjoy your coffee."

So, please stop and smell the roses and try to enjoy a free coffee when one is offered to you.

New and more new

The house-husband is no more. He has a new job that pays a bit better than the house-husband gig, but with a longer commute. To go with that new job, we bought a new car. The new car, wasn't planned or budgeted for at this time, but the old 1998 Ford Windstar was going to need over $3000 in repairs and we had wanted to replace it later this year, just not now. New car shopping with my husband is always fun. This last time was no exception.

He received his offer for employment in the mail on Friday. On the following Monday he accepted the offer and began all the paperwork and so on to be hired on at the new company. On Wednesday, he decided to bring the van in for some work because it was intermittently overheating. The mechanics started looking into it and said initially it looks like there is a leak that is allowing "mud" to enter the radiator. The leak was most likely due to a bad head gasket. That night we did research on possible replacement vehicles, new and used. We even visited our credit union's website as they have an used car connection. We narrowed down our choices and pretty much figured the van was going to be donated and we'd be buying a new car within a couple weeks. We love to go to car shows, so we already knew what kind of cars we liked so were looking at Honda Elements and Ford Escapes. This would be the husband's primary car so he would be making the final decision. The van was pretty much his car anyways. I'm not a fan of the big cars.

Thursday morning after dropping the daughter off for preschool, we dropped the VW off for it's yearly maintenance to make sure it was running well. I really wanted to buy a Honda as a the replacement vehicle. I like most of their cars, but have never been able to buy one. I suggested we have lunch at a place next to a huge Honda dealership and we could test drive some cars.

We walked onto the lot around noon on Thursday and at 5:30pm the husband was driving off the lot with brand new Tangerine Mist Honda Element. We started looking at the used ones and test drove an used Element. The husband is EXTREMELY picky about the seats in his car. One time after buying is Nissan truck a few years ago, he was so upset with the seat in the car that he wanted to buy a Ford Ranger truck seat and have it installed in his Nissan. Test driving these Elements was extremely important for Mister Picky. He also has to really peak into every nook and cranny of the vehicles. The more we looked around and drove the cars, we realized a brand new one, which was more comfortable to drive, was only the difference of a couple thousand dollars.

BUT . . . the husband was very difficult with the sales people during negotiations. He basically gave them an impossible offer and said, "I knew you couldn't make that price and I offered that price because it goes against my grain to go out and buy the first car I see. In order for me not to regret shopping around more and buying this car, I'd have to get an amazing deal like the one I put on the table for you." He continued on about how he'd would hate the car if paid more and realized he could have done better by shopping around more. His offer was $1000 down and $250/month for 4 years. Everyone was very cordial and we thanked them for all the work and said we would most likely be back, but we just couldn't buy today. Meanwhile, I am dying with laughter on the inside seeing my husband give these speeches. I almost think he would do well in politics some day.

So, we walk to our car that is parked at the restaurant about 3 blocks away. We are about 1/2 a block from the car when we hear someone yelling the husband's name. We turn around and the sales manager is running down the street with one last offer. Amazing. The husband pretty much got his deal. We paid $1000 down and they gave us $1000 for the van as trade-in (sight unseen mind you and it is still at the shop and they don't know this) and $250/month for 4 years. They drove us to pick up the van and we paid about $95 to have the radiator flushed so it would at least make it to the dealership.

What a day. Car shopping with the husband, is always entertaining.

The mountain lions will eat you

As I posted earlier, we are really enjoying having our dad/husband home more often. The daughter has been asking almost every day for a couple weeks now to go to the 'big red forest', which translates to "redwood forest." She did well at a hike at Point Lobos about 2 weeks earlier so we packed up a picnic lunch and headed off to Big Basin Redwood Forest.

It was a gorgeous day. Cold in the shade of the trees and warm in the brilliant sun. No clouds. A gentle breeze. Not crowded as it was mid-week. Perfect. After exploring the ranger station and little museum we set off for a hike. The daughter was warned again about touching poison oak and staying on the trail. Things were going great, but about half-way through our little trek, she thought she knew the best way to go at a fork in the trail. She was insistent to go one way and us, the other. So.....

I ask, "You know how when we watched that show about the zebras and elephants and the lions attacked the baby elephants? Do you remember why?"

Daughter responds, "No." She is looking really perplexed here.

I calmly answer, "Well, animals like lions, wolves and tigers will attack the children of animals when they wander off from their parents. That is why we must stick together. The mountain lions in this forest could catch you and eat you if you wander off by yourself." Thank goodness we watched that show on Discovery "Planet Earth." It was filled with imagery of animals eating other animals.

Daughter says, "There are lions here? They like to eat kids?" She is looking really worried now.

"Yep."

So, she she sticks by us the rest of the hike. The husband is trying hard not to laugh. The rest of the hike is peppered with questions about why mountain lions eat kids and would you be dead if a tiger caught you, etc. Discussions about how parents protect their kids from things like tigers and wolves.

Yes, I am mean, but at least she is safe and will have a great story to tell her therapist or her friends someday.

Having a house husband

My husband has been unemployed since November, but it is not a bad thing at all. We have dates mid-week while the daughter is in pre-school. We have family day trips to fun local places, zoos, aquariums, etc on weekdays versus the crowded weekends. He was able to get in some fun vacation with his friends. We even took some family vacation.

Plus, I got a house husband. Everyone at work is so jealous. He cooks and cleans the kitchen and does laundry. And he does yard projects. Below are the pictures of what he was able to do so far. He dug up a patch of the back yard about 6 feet wide that starts at our back patio and continues all the way down to our side yard and paved it. He also organized a deck building party and got a deck built for the hot tub. We recently finished the stepping stones to the deck and planting the area near the deck. The grass looks a little shaggy because we are in the process of reseeding some areas.

Some before pictures would probably help you really see how much work he did. We have got to see if we can afford to live on one income. This is just soooooo nice!

I wanna live where it is spring all the time

We went to St Paul, Minnesota for the annual winter carnival. We also visited all the friends and family and had fun in the snow. As usual, it was a fun trip and I had a great time. We were actually testing the area out thinking we might move there since I am out of school and have almost 2 years work experience under my belt and the husband is unemployed looking for new work.

When we first arrived our stubborn California native 4 1/2 year old daughter just can't grasp the concept of true cold. She thinks she can go outside with practically no clothing on. To prove it, she puts on her cousins' cape and bathing suit with snow boots and says she is going out to play in the snow. It was probably 10 degrees out and snow was maybe a 1-2 feet deep in places. She went out and came back in within 2 minutes and didn't try that again.

She did discover the joys of snow such as, sledding, building stuff out of snow and eating snow and just running and sliding around in the icy stuff. However, she did struggle constantly with the whole mitten thing. Seems it is hard to find mittens to fit hands her size.

We started talking to the daughter about moving to Minnesota towards the end of our stay. We asked, "So, would you like to move here to Minnesota?" and she says, "No, I want to stay in California where it is spring." Ah, such genius.

In the meantime, the husband and I will keep our job searches open to Minnesota and see what happens.

The first picture above is the daughter at Grandpa's cabin. The ice sculptures were part of the winter carnival celebration and were in Rice Park. Below is one of the lions at Como Zoo. They said the lions were raised here so they have no problems with the snow.

Sunrises

When I am driving to work in the morning, it is that wonderful time just before the sun peeks over the hills. I am driving east and seeing the most spectacular sunrises and it just fills me with so much energy and hope. Something about the beauty of it, the newness of it . . . I keep thinking I should try to capture a picture of it with my cell phone or bring my camera, but I never do. I just soak it in and let the smile creep up my face and embrace the new day. The good feelings from it can sometimes last most of the shift at work and somedays I lose it and have to remember back to the images.

What is it about sunrises that have affect over me? I am feeling all relaxed right now, just remembering the last one.

Finally a new post for the new year

I can't believe it has been this long since a post, but I guess time flies when you stay busy. I just have had enough time in front of a computer to check emails and keep up with friends and family.

We had a wonderful time over the holidays. I saw my brothers which I hadn't seen in AGES! It was great reconnecting with them. I hope the connection lasts this time.

I spent Christmas enjoying a beautiful sunset with friends and family. The daughter was so happy, she nearly cried Christmas morning when she saw that Santa had brought the Princess Jasmine costume she wanted.

New Year's was spent with friends and we celebrated at 9pm (Midnight on the East Coast). It allowed us older folks a chance to get bed at a decent hour. Goodness, we are getting older.

I had some time to think and reflect a bit in the new year. I realized I have been in this current house for almost 10 years. It is the longest I have ever lived in one place by a long shot. I have known my husband for 15 years. We are definitely beating the odds on divorce and it looks like we'll be able to celebrate our 10th anniversary in Hawaii, which was something we planned before we were even married. I am getting closer to the 40 yr mark. My music from high school is starting to be "oldie" music. In the latest Veggie Tales movie, they do a version of the B52's song, "Rock Lobster." Painful and funny at the same time. That song was the anthem of our high school dances!

I have never been one for new year's resolutions, but I have started to think I should make some changes in my life that would be better for my health. I am tackling 1 habit at a time for now. The current habit I am trying to kick is diet sodas. I don't drink regular sodas and I drank diet sodas because I liked the bubbles. So, I have switched to seltzer water and club soda. Next, I'll try to stop eating when I get home from a long shift at work.

Last night, I got home and it was almost 9pm (I should be home by 8pm considering my shift should end at 7:30pm, but stuff happens). I had left the house at 6:30am. I had a lunch at 3pm and so when I get home at 9, I am not only exhausted but damn thirsty and hungry. I know if I eat that late at night, it is HORRIBLE for the waist line and I won't sleep well. However, if I don't eat something I'll be waking up in the middle of the night hungry. So, I have to settle for some water or herbal tea and a light snack. It always seems so hard to settle for a light snack, especially after a really bad day at work or when you are really hungry. Sometimes, all I want is a beer with my popcorn. Salt and beer. What a feast!

The next big thing is a trip to the frozen tundra that is Minnesota to vist friends and family and enjoy the Winter Carnival. I'm looking forward to it. It is another family vacation and the last one we had was in May, so we are past due.

Oh, and I finished some books and gave up one. I finished "Wicked." I borrowed it from a friend, but it is a book I think I would like to have as a keeper, maybe in hard back. It was much heavier book than I expected, filled with political debtates, religion and the constant debate over what is truly evil. I gave up on "A Heartbreaking work of Staggering Genius." Maybe, I'll try it again some day.

The book I am bringing for the trip is "The Other Bolelyn Girl." I also purchased "The Golden Compass" series so I may be trying that next. I have stack of Jennifer Wiener books borrowed from a friend that I have been advised or fun light reading. I may try that soon too.