Can't sleep, clowns will eat me

At least, I can't sleep well these past two nights. I am not sure if it is the job or the book or just life in general but I can't turn my brain off at night. I have all kinds of active dreams. I wake up and can't get back to sleep. Last night I gave up around 2am and just got up and finished my book I was reading, "Circus of the Damned." I was thinking, maybe that was why I couldn't sleep because I couldn't wait to find out how it ended. I was so close to the end and it was leaving me on the edge of my seat. Nope, finished it and 4am I still can't sleep. I think I fell asleep about 5am and my alarm wakes me up at 5:30 to get to work. Man, I was so close to calling in sick due to lack of sleep.

Here's hoping I get more sleep tonight. Maybe I should read more calmer books and not ones about vampires, zombies and werewolves.......

Musical memories

I have been thinking a lot about all the memories a single song can bring out. It is amazing how much in my life is associated with music. So, I thought I would share my list. My list though is not all inclusive as my memory fades and there are just too many great musical memories.

Listening to my "Jungle Book" album soundtrack at age 7 on my little record player. "Look for the bare necessities...."

The Michael Jackson "Off the Wall" album on dad's awesome stereo system. The speakers were probably 4 feet high. It felt like Michael was in the house singing. I can still almost hear him cry as he sings "She's out of my life." I can't believe I am writing this, but CDs don't sound the same as vinyl. Vinyl is so much warmer and richer.

Discovering Grandma's old vinyl albums 78s of classical pieces by Stravinksy, Dvorak or Brahm, then using her stereo system that would play that speed. It was one of those rectangular long cabinets with sliding doors on the top, a beautiful wooden piece. The sound was amazing. I would sit down and listen to the music with a sketch pad and draw what I felt the music was describing. I overheard my dad tell my mom that I was odd. I wonder where that stereo is now?

Any song by Erasure brings up some great times with friends. One night we were driving around trying to cheer up a friend. We ended up at a dead end road in the country. We stopped the car, left it running with headlights on, Erasure blaring and had our own dance party under the stars.

Then there was the Erasure concert, when we heard this guys behind us say, "Oh my god! These guys are gay!" Yep, the band was and there music was too. I mean their music was happy-gay, not gay-gay. :)

The "Circle of Life" will always remind me of Dana. I miss her and still am saddened that she was killed so young. It took a few years before that song didn't make me cry anymore. Now, I just get some chills when I listen to it.

"Rio" by Duran Duran has many moments for me. Our silly girl band (Modern Modes) when we were like 14 or 15. Friends in college singing that song to me but substiting my name for Rio. That was a very silly night.

"Oye como va" was a song my dad would blare on his stereo until the walls and windows rattled in the house, but I LOVED playing this song in high school band at the football games. I played tenor sax and this song was just a blast to play at those games. Same goes for "Wake me up before you go-go" by Wham. It was a lot of fun for a sax player, even though the song is a bit cheesey.

"Sail away" by Enya. I remember my boyfriend (now my spouse) and I were taking my younger brother and sister somewhere and this song came on the radio. My brother thought the lyrics were "save a whale" and was singing it loudly. To this day, I laugh when I hear that song and sing in my head "save a whale, save a whale, save a whale." It is a great message, right?

"Mustang Sally" and a trip to New Orleans with my future spouse. We had a rental car and it was a burgundy mustang and I swear that song came on the radio just about everyday we drove it.

"Whole of the Moon" by The Waterboys will always remind me of my true friend that did a musical dedication for me on KFOG when I was away at college. She recorded it and mailed it to me for my birthday.

"Ghost Town" by the Specials reminds me of a road trip with two friends and a little music video we made in the middle of nowhere Texas. I think we broke the camera after making that movie, but we still have the video somewhere.

"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen at the 12/31/92 New Year's Party and banging our heads so much to this song that we nearly fell over from being dizzy.

Listening to Elvis Presley and Frankie Valley and the 4 Seasons on 8-track in my mom's yellow Plymouth Duster on the long roadtrip to visit Grandma every summer.

I think I could on forever and maybe do a book, but that is my list for now. Care to share your musical memory?

Why are there stoplights on the wall?

Yep, that is the latest question asked as people enter our ICU at the hospital.

There are large yellow traffic lights with the standard green, yellow and red lights on them hanging on the walls on all the nursing units at the hospital. Why? Noise detectors.

I'll be the first to agree that it is freaking noisy in the hospital, especially during shift change because there is typically double the staff and half of them are talking and giving report on their patients. It also seems that many times during this short 30 minutes is when almost every patient hits the call light and family members call to ask for updates on the patients. Also, xray technicians are roaming and doing the scheduled portable xrays of all our ventillated patients. Pharmacy is dropping medications due at 8am. It can be utter chaos during that 30 minutes.

So, management is on a kick to reduce noise and help the patient's stay be more pleasant. They are even asking us to provide ear plugs to our more alert and awake patients to help them get a better night sleep. Sounds great, right?

Well, except the first week these stop lights were in place, we actually created more noise. Every person who came through that week had to ask what was the traffic light for. We had to explain the theory about quieter units. Then we got to demonstrate how the light worked. If you make a sound loud enough, the red light comes off and emits a loud siren wail. Yep, the noise detector actually makes noise (louder and quite obnoxious) to let you know you are making noise.

Ahhhh, the irony. It made me smile a bit more that week, but now the lights are old hat and it is still noisy and the light goes yellow very often, but never really emits the red siren wail. And, some people have figured out how to adjust the noise detector so it never really goes off.

Oh, and no one knows where all the ear plugs went.

Are some people overcompensated??

I got into a discussion one day about how athletes and entertainers are paid way too much money for what they do. The person I was talking to (let's call him Frank), felt that other jobs such as firefighters, nurses or teachers should be paid more. I had to play devil's advocate with this topic just to have some fun. I gave it to him that it does seem insane that they pay someone 100s of millions of dollars to play baseball for a couple years or someone makes $10million to be in just 1 movie. I mean if someone gave me $10million to work on a project for a just a couple of months, I am not sure I could justify working again. Really, who could? Unless you start donating a LOT of money. So, I said to Frank that is what a lot of athletes and entertainers do. They do get heavy into charity work.

However, I also argued these people are paid what the market will bear. People put a high price on their team winning or on watching movies or going to concerts. If people weren't willing to pay the prices for this entertainment, then there would be no money for the salaries.

And lastly, I said to Frank (who was a retired high school principle), how many times did you come home from a stressful day at work and allowed a song, a baseball game or a movie to help you forget the bad stuff and just relax and have some fun? How many times growing up did I rely so heavily on music to get me through? I have a lot of fond memories growing up just around music. So, I don't know what kind of price you can put on that therapy, but apparently, it is pretty high.

But...don't get Frank and I started on how little writers and some artists make. I think on that one, him and I may have to agree. They can be sorely underpaid :)

Random thoughts and ponderings

Some days my job just leaves me without words, not due to exhaustion, but it's sheer ability to amaze me.

I used the word surreal alot and figured I should look it up. One definition I found and I like: "characterized by fantastic imagery and incongruous juxtapositions; "a great concourse of phantasmagoric shadows". Umm, that does describe my job fairly well some days and the Dali picture below.

Sometimes all it takes to fix everything is to close the eyes and take a big breath and let it all out.

Why does my dog constantly bark and attempt to chase squirrels that are running along a telephone wire 30 feet up in the air across our backyard? Does he think he is going to fly there? That the squirrel is dumb enough to think he is a friendly dog and is just saying, "Hi!"?

I discovered sunscreen can expire and if you use expired suncsreen, you will tan or burn, depending on how long you are in the sun.

If you get enough freckles will they all form together to give you one big cohesive tan?

I love coffee. I love jelly bellies. However, the two together are not so good.

I love beer and chocolate and again, not together.

Speaking of which, we need beer in the house. All the beer is gone.

Random flower

My daughter LOVES to pick flowes. Adores it. One of her favorite activities. Well, on the drive to day care we noticed this flower, duct taped into a little holder on the corner of a busy street. She wanted to pick it. I told her, it would bring more joy to people if it was left there so everyone else could see it also.

We saw this flower about 3 months ago. It is still there. Is someone putting a fresh flower on a regular basis? Is is a fake flower? Isn't it odd that no one has taken it out yet? I wonder if the person who put it there sits somewhere nearby and gets a kick out of the smiles and comments?

And, just about every day the daughter gets all excited because the flower is still there. "Look, Mom! The flower is still there. No one picked it!"

It is a random flower but it brings smiles to our faces.

Like white uniforms are going to save your ass

Yeah, a smidge of profanity in that title, but nothing compared to what I was saying most of the day. Our facility is being audited by the Joint Commission on Accreditation (JCAHO). They come around and audit hospitals all the time to make sure they are up to snuff. As you can imagine, management does a great job of scaring the crap out of its employees about the audit. They don't really bother to get you more training or help so that you can actually pass the audit, just lots of scare tactics. "Oh, JCAHO is coming!" There were so many last minute communications that they started to conflict with each other. It was nuts. I decided, I would just make sure I knew our facilities policies and try to do my job as best as I could and hope for the best.

Well, our new manager seemed to think it would be great if we all wore the same color scrubs at work and if everyone would by new white shoes. That idea went over like a lead balloon. I think one brown noser on the unit bought new white shoes. However, the manager outwitted us. She bought everyone white scrubs and whoever showed up the day the audit happened, would have to go back and change.

There is no real warning on the audit and there was no warning on this required costume change. We just know that JCAHO is in the area and will probably be auditing us this month with a "surprise" inspection.

Lucky for me, it was yesterday. Announcement come on over the PA system, "We'd like to welcome the Joint Commission Auditors, etc...." The boss then comes out with the white scrubs and announces we all must change.

So many problems with this situation. Only one bathroom to change in and it is a 1 banger, meaning small with 1 toilet. The breakroom was then turned into an impromptu locker room as people franctically tried to change as I tried to eat my breakfast in there. People were wearing lots of interesting underwear which could easily be seen through these cheap, white thin scrubs. And, everyone could see my tattoo on my back ALL day. "Oh, is that a dragon!" That is how thin these scrubs were. "Oh, how cute. All in white? Are caps next?" My favorite comment from a doctor, "You guys are freaking me out. I thought I had walked into a psych ward."

But the thing that irked me the most was that our manager seemed to think that if we all did this it would somehow help us pass muster. It just seemed so staged and fake. No one wears whites anymore unless you are in nursing school. I bet if she had her way we'd be in those white caps also. I am also pretty sure, the auditors won't be distracted by a lot nurses in white scrubs.

Boy, did I curse a LOT that day under my breath. So glad I am off the next 6 days.