Thoughts on Mother's Day

Mother's Day wasn't a Hallmark-moment day for me. I worked the whole day and got home at 8:30pm. It is no big deal, I don't really want a big deal made out of mother's day. I guess, I don't really feel like a mom most days, eventhough I really am.

However, I had a few thoughts about being a mom today as my daughter and I enjoyed a lazy morning and later as I checked some emails.

Before kids, I always heard people saying how much kids change your life. The changes they create can't even begin to be imagined until you have one of your own. You may think you understand that phrase, but you don't, unless you have had a child.

The center of your world shifts. Your attitude shifts. Your worries and concerns change. The way you see yourself changes. Sometimes just watching your child do the simplest of things can just inspire awe in the fact that you are responsible for her being here and that starts a cycle of thought, thinking about how your mom must have felt looking at you and her mom felt about her, etc, etc. You begin to think about moms through the generations and if they didn't do what I am doing now, I wouldn't be here.

You watch your child discover new things, learn new words, apply concepts and it is fascinating to see their little brains grow and soak in everything. The simple truths that start to come out of their mouths, such as this morning when my daughter says, "Mom, you work too many days." Which was true because I had just finished working 4 straight 12 hour shifts and had seen her for all of about 4 hours in as many days. Or when at the coffe shop she comments that a particular woman has long hair and a big tummy, which was true (the woman was quite obese). Thank goodness, she hasn't learned the word "fat" yet and I hope she didn't over hear the 3 year old's observations.

And as I was discussing with another mom, when you have a child you starting seeing that you are making changes in your life to be a better person, striving to be a positive influence for them. I don't make a big deal about bad drivers with her in the car. I try to eat healthier and exercise more. I go to the library more and read to her more. You just want to be more and you want so much more for your child.

"I'm not cute....."

When I became a mom, I thought like many new moms do, that I would want her to have an even better life than me and hopefully be a better person for it. One thing I struggle with is her having strong self-confidence and self-esteem. Things I am lacking in.

Last year when Grandma was visiting she was teaching my daughter to accept compliments. Grandma would say, "You're such a pretty girl" and she wouldn't know what to say to that. Grandma said, "You say 'Thank you.' "

Yesterday I was admiring the fashion-plate that is my daughter. We got back from a long day at the beach and she decided she wanted to change clothes; Pale pink jeans, darker peachy pink long sleeve sparkly butterfly shirt with a mint green short sleeve shirt over that (It had pink and sparkly cupcakes on it so she had to have it on also, the more sparkle the better.), a pink baseball cap with more butterflies and flip-flops. I guess I should have taken a picture.

So, I say to her, "You are cute." She looks kind of shy and doesn't say anything. I said, "Didn't Grandma say you were supposed to say 'Thank you' when someone says that?"

She gets this sassy look on her face like she is going to gave me the two-snaps and a neck swivel and says, "I'm not cute. I am beautiful!"

So, what can you say to that? Self-esteem issues? I think not.

Just wanted to share some pictures

A couple weeks back we had a free Saturday as a family which is rare these days with my working every other weekend. So, the hubby and I said we needed some San Francisco time. We drove up first thing to the Pier 39 and wanderered around, looked at seals, bought some jewelry (for moi!) and had our traditional clam chowder in the sourdough bread bowl. It isn't the best chowder in the world, but for us it is about the bowl, the location and memories shared on Pier 39.

Afterwards, I took a few wrong turns following the Scenic Drive signs out of the city and ended up at China Beach. In all my years in the Bay Area, I had never been here. It was like our own personal beach. Of course the daughter had to play in the water. The pictures show it was overcast, but surprisingly, it wasn't that cold. It was a smidge muggy. Just ignore the hubby in the hat. That man is ALWAYS cold! The daughter on the other hand was down to her shirt and panties playing in the water before long.

So, enjoy the pictures. I enjoyed being there and taking them.