When did it happen!?!?!

I had a birthday recently and I have been wrapped up in memories. I find myself amazed at how time moves so fast. I don't feel as old as the years say. Sometimes I still feel like the 20-something who just finished college, single and just starting to make it in a career. Gosh, what happened to the years?!!?

I am falling asleep by 10pm. Waking up at 5:30am. I have a marriage, a mortgage, a daughter, 401(k) and constantly catch myself in conversations about retirement, potty training, public education and what happened on the Disney Channel today. The student loans are paid. Cars are paid off. I can't remember the last time I went to a happy hour or a night out dancing. I see wrinkles around the eyes and kinky grey hairs popping out of the top of my head.

I also realize that I have known some of my friends for 23 and 24 years now. That is a long time. Lots of people don't even stay married that long. Weren't those friends and I just dancing in the middle of the night to Erasure, Depeche Mode, OMD or New Order?!? We sit around and talk about how concert tickets are so expensive now and remember when you could see "Day on the Green" with the Pretenders and U2 for around $20?!? We talk about how all kinds of things are so expensive now. Some movies are now going straight to DVD and skipping VHS. No one goes to record stores anymore. We download from online stores. Thus, the closing of Tower Records.

My husband and I realized for the first time that we had seen all three of the animated films nominated for Oscar this year, but none of the movies up for Best Picture. He did although see "The Departed" while I was at the Doodlebops concert.



Then we look around and realize we sound like our parents! When did that happen?


Wow....what happened. And why am I so tired all the time??!

A matter of perspective

I had a couple of weekdays off and the plan was to finally take the Ford minivan in for an oil change and fix a quirky electrical problem. The place I take the cars to is a little over a mile from our house, so I usually drop the car off and walk home and walk back to get it.

On this day, I called my husband to see where he was in the drive home. I asked him if he could pick up the daughter at daycare. It was getting late and the car still wasn't done. He agreed and said no problem.

The phone rings at 4:25pm. It is the husband. He is stranded at daycare. The car's serpentine belt was shredded. He said he was going to get it towed to our mechanic and by the way, his cell phone battery is low.

Great! I am pissed. Another car bill. Who knows what this will cost. I call the mechanic to ask when the minivan will be ready for pick up. They say it has been done. (Gee, thanks for the call fellas!!) I tell them our Chevy Lumina is coming in next. I call the husband and tell him I will start walking over to the mechanic's and meet him there.

I am stewing. My mind is racing around lots of angry frustrated thoughts. Can the daughter ride in a tow truck with the car seat? How much will the minivan repairs be? The Lumina's? How long will it take to fix? I hate owning these lame American used cars. We should really look into buying a new car, etc, etc. My mind is doing this all the way to the shop.

The van is ready. $200 in repairs. Now, I sit and wait as the car seat will work in the tow truck. I then start doing some math. Overall, it is cheaper to own and repair an used car versus buying a brand new one. We have no payments now. We may spend $1000 or so for all three used cars in maintenance a year, although it is higher some years than others. One year I think we approached $5000. Still, cheaper. Did I mention my mind was racing.

Then, the tow truck arrives. I see the daughter sitting up in the cab with a huge grin and waving with excitement. When the truck stops, she runs out and over to me screaming all the way, "Mommy! I rode in a yellow tow-mater!!!" (A reference to the move "Cars")

This was an exciting adventure to her. One she will go on to talk about for days. I see that reaction and can't do anything but smile. It'll be ok. They are just cars. It is just money. At least we have both. And how often do you get to ride in a yellow tow-mater. Yep, it is all a matter of perspective.

I can read again!!

It is a bit of a joke amongst my friends that I don't read anymore. It's true.

Back in the day, I was always reading some novel. All kinds of books. I even had a job in college at the library where I read even more books. I just loved to read from a young age. I remember trying to read everything by Roald Dahl in the 3rd grade. I was reading Tolkien in 5th grade. I was always at the library looking for some new interesting book. I was on a quest at one point to read every book that won the Newberry Award. I loved the world that opened up to you in books. I used to write down quotes from books on scraps of paper, on my notebooks or in old journals. At one point, I thought I was going to be a writer when I grew up.

The past few years though, I just stopped reading for fun. I was reading for school. I was reading for work. I was writing user manuals for work and papers for school. I was reading trade magazines and books on writing in java script. Next I was reading books on anatomy and microbiology. Next thing I know, I am with friends talking about all the books they are reading and the movies coming out based on these books and I said outloud, "I am illiterate. I don't read anymore." It got a few laughs and it came to be my thing with my friends. Two years ago, one of my friends loaned me "The Da Vinci Code" ( they were thinking it might get me on track to read again) and I managed to read that. It was a fast, easy read. It was a weak, lackluster writing style, but the story was fast paced and interesting so I finished, but nothing since then.

Last week on a whim I picked up two novels at the library. I have been introducing my kid to the fun of going to the library, browsing through books and bringing one home. I was beginning to enjoy children's books. There are so many interesting stories and you can read them in 5 minutes. My husband came this time so I had a few extra minutes to browse by myself. I picked up, "The five people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom. I finished it last night! I enjoyed the imagery. I closed my eyes once in awhile to savor a few passages. It was wonderful.

The book made me happy in two ways. One, it showed me reading is fun again. A book could touch you and take you places. Two, it presented some wonderful thoughts about life and death. One of my favorite passages from the book is: "Lost love is still love . . . It takes a different form, that's all . . . Memory becomes your partner. You nuture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end. Love doesn't."

I immediately picked up my next little fun read from the library called, "Clemency Pogue: Fairy Killer" by JT Petty. Already loving it. I can see the places the book describes and feel the textures. I am hooked.

I can read again!!!