Oh no. It hit me. "A knight's tale" was on tv tonight and I switched to it and thought how much I loved that movie and how it made me smile and laugh. We even own on it on DVD. The first scene was a joust with Heath Ledger and I felt overwhelmed with sadness and I almost wanted to cry. No happy-good feelings. I realized it was the first Ledger movie I had seen since he had died. Ugh. I had to change the channel. I am sure this will pass, but I sure wish I had been able to enjoy the movie tonight.
In other news, I have read even more books. Yes, I finished "Outlander"by Gabaldon. Quite the page turner, even if at times I but unbelievable. I really found myself fancying the large Scottish redhead Jaime Fraser. I also finished my other book, "Critical Care: The making of an ICU Nurse." It was great to read a book at times where it felt like the author had read my mind. It was just so validating and made me feel less crazy. The ending was a bit abrupt and hurried, but I think I may re-read it someday. Oh, and yes the book worm frenzy is alive as I even finished "The Golden Compass." I had seen the movie first and found the movie ok with some occasional fantastic moments, but the book was sooooooo much better. I thought the scene in the movie where the polar bears have a huge fight was epic. In the book, it was even more epic. Also, I was constantly amazed at how the author was able to remember or to get inside the head of a 10 year old child. I actually want to see the movie again now and I can't wait for my daughter to be able to read the story.
The other day I browsed the sales piles at the book store and picked up 2 new books to read. "The Mermaid Chair" and "Cold Mountain." They look like two completely different styles of fiction, but they looked interesting.
So, I flipped back to a "A Knight's Tale" and it was a funny scene and I still couldn't laugh. Ugh. I miss Heath.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
All grown up now
I am in a bit a of a dilemma. My 4 yr old daughter will be turning 5 soon and she thinks that makes her all grown up and that she doesn't need any toys anymore. Several times over the past couple weeks, she keeps telling me she wants to get rid of all her toys because when she is 5 she won't need toys anymore. She wants to give them to someone else to play with. She doesn't even want her dress-up clothes anymore.
We have asked her many times, "Are you sure?" "What about when your friends come over, what are you going to play if you have no toys?" "Do you want anything for your birthday?"
She says, "No, I don't want anything. I just don't want my toys anymore." She did say she wants to keep all her books because when she learns how to read in Kindergarten, she wants to read her books all by herself.
So, I am thinking if this continues one for another week, I will enter her room with bags and boxes and help her get rid of toys. Any thoughts on that? I am thinking I may store a couple of special toys for when she is older, but I can't believe she doesn't want any toys?!?
We have asked her many times, "Are you sure?" "What about when your friends come over, what are you going to play if you have no toys?" "Do you want anything for your birthday?"
She says, "No, I don't want anything. I just don't want my toys anymore." She did say she wants to keep all her books because when she learns how to read in Kindergarten, she wants to read her books all by herself.
So, I am thinking if this continues one for another week, I will enter her room with bags and boxes and help her get rid of toys. Any thoughts on that? I am thinking I may store a couple of special toys for when she is older, but I can't believe she doesn't want any toys?!?
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Roses and free coffee
I had one of those evenings at work where I realized it could have been the script for one of those medical drama tv shows. Mind you, the only medical tv shows I watch are "House" or "scrubs" and I never have watched "ER", but I hear those drama shows eat stuff like this up.
At about 6:00 pm, we hear an overhead call for the Rapid Response Team (aka, RRT call). This is like a call for help from a nurse on the floor, outside of ICU, who has a patient that is suddenly not doing well and needs immediate help before the patient becomes worse. Sometimes these RRT calls turn into "Code Blue" calls if the patient goes into cardiac or respiratory arrest. Other times, the problem is solved by the RRT team and the patient is stabilized. The charge nurse from ICU, a couple of assistant managers and at least 1 respiratory therapist respond to the RRT calls.
On this RRT call, the patient is still "ok" (by ok, i mean barely breathing, horrible skin color, drenched in sweat, eyes wide and bulging and barely able to say 'ok'), but if we don't do something soon he will be a code call. They attempted to stabilize him and transport him to ICU for immediate intubation (to be placed on a ventillator). It must have been a busy day for the anesthesiologists, because it turns out we only have one anesthesiologist left available who can really intubate a patient for us in this situation. The other doctors that could do this for us in ICU are in the OR or not in the hospital yet. It turns out the doctor that is in our ICU attempting to help with our patient is being paged back to labor and delivery for an emergency c-section (emergency surgical removal of the baby from the mom).
He is looking at us while on the phone and calmly asking the the nurse calling about the c-section if he has 5 minutes. She told him the baby wasn't doing well and maybe they would have 5 minutes. He never lost his cool, panicked, yelled or anything. Calm and cool all the way, but the look in the doctor's eyes said volumes. He was looking down into the face of a 60+ year old man that if we don't treat soon would die and just hung up on a nurse dealing with a young woman and her unborn child. A patient nearer the end of his life who can't breathe and a patient just trying out life for the first time and hasn't even taken its first breath. All the chaos in that ICU room stopped for a second to recognize this problem and the next second we moved lightning fast to get our patient on the ventillator as fast as possible so the doctor could go help with the delivery of the baby. I think we had our patient entubated in less than 1 minute and the doctor ran downstairs.
We found out later, the c-section was very complicated and 4 doctors were down there but they had a happy outcome. Baby boy and mom were doing ok. As for our patient on ICU, he ended up not making it and passed away about 3 hours later.
It had me thinking though. A new life comes into the world in the room directly below us, while one life leaves us. And meanwhile, all around us in the hospital these types of things are happening everyday.
So, when I was enjoying breakfast at Starbucks with my daughter this morning, I really savored everything. Every breath I took, even if it meant I was standing in line or waiting at a stop light, was special. The daughter's chattiness was enjoyed more as health and vitality. The morning was gorgeous!
Then I experienced a littly pity for a man who came in to Starbucks. He reminded me of the man that had died last night. In his 60s, big belly maybe 5' 8". He asked for a small decaf coffee and when he was told he would have to wait 3 whole minutes for a fresh cup, said, "Ok, I'll have small regular coffee." He was told that the regular coffee was also brewing and he could just have a cup of coffee on the house in less than 3 minutes. What did he do? He huffed and stormed out of the shop. He was just offered a free cup of coffee if he could manage to control himself and wait 3 whole minutes. That kind of anger and stress, plus the weight, his age . . . adds up to trip to an ICU near you soon. I wanted to touch his shoulder, as he was standing next to me and say, "3 minutes isn't long and it is a free coffee. Breath. Relax. Then enjoy your coffee."
At about 6:00 pm, we hear an overhead call for the Rapid Response Team (aka, RRT call). This is like a call for help from a nurse on the floor, outside of ICU, who has a patient that is suddenly not doing well and needs immediate help before the patient becomes worse. Sometimes these RRT calls turn into "Code Blue" calls if the patient goes into cardiac or respiratory arrest. Other times, the problem is solved by the RRT team and the patient is stabilized. The charge nurse from ICU, a couple of assistant managers and at least 1 respiratory therapist respond to the RRT calls.
On this RRT call, the patient is still "ok" (by ok, i mean barely breathing, horrible skin color, drenched in sweat, eyes wide and bulging and barely able to say 'ok'), but if we don't do something soon he will be a code call. They attempted to stabilize him and transport him to ICU for immediate intubation (to be placed on a ventillator). It must have been a busy day for the anesthesiologists, because it turns out we only have one anesthesiologist left available who can really intubate a patient for us in this situation. The other doctors that could do this for us in ICU are in the OR or not in the hospital yet. It turns out the doctor that is in our ICU attempting to help with our patient is being paged back to labor and delivery for an emergency c-section (emergency surgical removal of the baby from the mom).
He is looking at us while on the phone and calmly asking the the nurse calling about the c-section if he has 5 minutes. She told him the baby wasn't doing well and maybe they would have 5 minutes. He never lost his cool, panicked, yelled or anything. Calm and cool all the way, but the look in the doctor's eyes said volumes. He was looking down into the face of a 60+ year old man that if we don't treat soon would die and just hung up on a nurse dealing with a young woman and her unborn child. A patient nearer the end of his life who can't breathe and a patient just trying out life for the first time and hasn't even taken its first breath. All the chaos in that ICU room stopped for a second to recognize this problem and the next second we moved lightning fast to get our patient on the ventillator as fast as possible so the doctor could go help with the delivery of the baby. I think we had our patient entubated in less than 1 minute and the doctor ran downstairs.
We found out later, the c-section was very complicated and 4 doctors were down there but they had a happy outcome. Baby boy and mom were doing ok. As for our patient on ICU, he ended up not making it and passed away about 3 hours later.
It had me thinking though. A new life comes into the world in the room directly below us, while one life leaves us. And meanwhile, all around us in the hospital these types of things are happening everyday.
So, when I was enjoying breakfast at Starbucks with my daughter this morning, I really savored everything. Every breath I took, even if it meant I was standing in line or waiting at a stop light, was special. The daughter's chattiness was enjoyed more as health and vitality. The morning was gorgeous!Then I experienced a littly pity for a man who came in to Starbucks. He reminded me of the man that had died last night. In his 60s, big belly maybe 5' 8". He asked for a small decaf coffee and when he was told he would have to wait 3 whole minutes for a fresh cup, said, "Ok, I'll have small regular coffee." He was told that the regular coffee was also brewing and he could just have a cup of coffee on the house in less than 3 minutes. What did he do? He huffed and stormed out of the shop. He was just offered a free cup of coffee if he could manage to control himself and wait 3 whole minutes. That kind of anger and stress, plus the weight, his age . . . adds up to trip to an ICU near you soon. I wanted to touch his shoulder, as he was standing next to me and say, "3 minutes isn't long and it is a free coffee. Breath. Relax. Then enjoy your coffee."
So, please stop and smell the roses and try to enjoy a free coffee when one is offered to you. 
Friday, April 18, 2008
New and more new
The house-husband is no more. He has a new job that pays a bit better than the house-husband gig, but with a longer commute. To go with that new job, we bought a new car. The new car, wasn't planned or budgeted for at this time, but the old 1998 Ford Windstar was going to need over $3000 in repairs and we had wanted to replace it later this year, just not now. New car shopping with my husband is always fun. This last time was no exception.
He received his offer for employment in the mail on Friday. On the following Monday he accepted the offer and began all the paperwork and so on to be hired on at the new company. On Wednesday, he decided to bring the van in for some work because it was intermittently overheating. The mechanics started looking into it and said initially it looks like there is a leak that is allowing "mud" to enter the radiator. The leak was most likely due to a bad head gasket. That night we did research on possible replacement vehicles, new and used. We even visited our credit union's website as they have an used car connection. We narrowed down our choices and pretty much figured the van was going to be donated and we'd be buying a new car within a couple weeks. We love to go to car shows, so we already knew what kind of cars we liked so were looking at Honda Elements and Ford Escapes. This would be the husband's primary car so he would be making the final decision. The van was pretty much his car anyways. I'm not a fan of the big cars.
Thursday morning after dropping the daughter off for preschool, we dropped the VW off for it's yearly maintenance to make sure it was running well. I really wanted to buy a Honda as a the replacement vehicle. I like most of their cars, but have never been able to buy one. I suggested we have lunch at a place next to a huge Honda dealership and we could test drive some cars.
We walked onto the lot around noon on Thursday and at
5:30pm the husband was driving off the lot with brand new Tangerine Mist Honda Element. We started looking at the used ones and test drove an used Element. The husband is EXTREMELY picky about the seats in his car. One time after buying is Nissan truck a few years ago, he was so upset with the seat in the car that he wanted to buy a Ford Ranger truck seat and have it installed in his Nissan. Test driving these Elements was extremely important for Mister Picky. He also has to really peak into every nook and cranny of the vehicles. The more we looked around and drove the cars, we realized a brand new one, which was more comfortable to drive, was only the difference of a couple thousand dollars.
5:30pm the husband was driving off the lot with brand new Tangerine Mist Honda Element. We started looking at the used ones and test drove an used Element. The husband is EXTREMELY picky about the seats in his car. One time after buying is Nissan truck a few years ago, he was so upset with the seat in the car that he wanted to buy a Ford Ranger truck seat and have it installed in his Nissan. Test driving these Elements was extremely important for Mister Picky. He also has to really peak into every nook and cranny of the vehicles. The more we looked around and drove the cars, we realized a brand new one, which was more comfortable to drive, was only the difference of a couple thousand dollars. BUT . . . the husband was very difficult with the sales people during negotiations. He basically gave them an impossible offer and said, "I knew you couldn't make that price and I offered that price because it goes against my grain to go out and buy the first car I see. In order for me not to regret shopping around more and buying this car, I'd have to get an amazing deal like the one I put on the table for you." He continued on about how he'd would hate the car if paid more and realized he could have done better by shopping around more. His offer was $1000 down and $250/month for 4 years. Everyone was very cordial and we thanked them for all the work and said we would most likely be back, but we just couldn't buy today. Meanwhile, I am dying with laughter on the inside seeing my husband give these speeches. I almost think he would do well in politics some day.
So, we walk to our car that is parked at the restaurant about 3 blocks away. We are about 1/2 a block from the car when we hear someone yelling the husband's name. We turn around and the sales manager is running down the street with one last offer. Amazing. The husband pretty much got his deal. We paid $1000 down and they gave us $1000 for the van as trade-in (sight unseen mind you and it is still at the shop and they don't know this) and $250/month for 4 years. They drove us to pick up the van and we paid about $95 to have the radiator flushed so it would at least make it to the dealership.
What a day. Car shopping with the husband, is always entertaining.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
The mountain lions will eat you
As I posted earlier, we are really enjoying having our dad/husband home more often. The daughter has been asking almost every day for a couple weeks now to go to the 'big red forest', which translates to "redwood forest." She did well at a hike at Point Lobos about 2 weeks earlier so we packed up a picnic lunch and headed off to Big Basin Redwood Forest.
It was a gorgeous day. Cold in the shade of the trees and warm in the brilliant sun. No clouds. A gentle breeze. Not crowded as it was mid-week. Perfect. After exploring the ranger station and little museum we set off for a hike. The daughter was warned again about touching poison oak and staying on the trail. Things were going great, but about half-way through our little trek, she thought she knew the best way to go at a fork in the trail. She was insistent to go one way and us, the other. So.....I ask, "You know how when we watched that show about the zebras and elephants and the lions attacked the baby elephants? Do you remember why?"
Daughter responds, "No." She is looking really perplexed here.
I calmly answer, "Well, animals like lions, wolves and tigers will attack the children of animals when they wander off from their parents. That is why we must stick together. The mountain lions in this forest could catch you and eat you if you wander off by yourself." Thank goodness we watched that show on Discovery "Planet Earth." It was filled with imagery of animals eating other animals.
Daughter says, "There are lions here? They like to eat kids?" She is looking really worried now.
So, she she sticks by us the rest of the hike. The husband is trying hard not to laugh. The rest of the hike is peppered with questions about why mountain lions eat kids and would you be dead if a tiger caught you, etc. Discussions about how parents protect their kids from things like tigers and wolves.
Yes, I am mean, but at least she is safe and will have a great story to tell her therapist or her friends someday.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Having a house husband
My husband has been unemployed since November, but it is not a bad thing at all. We have dates mid-week while the daughter is in pre-school. We have family day trips to fun local places, zoos, aquariums, etc on weekdays versus the crowded weekends. He was able to get in some fun vacation with his friends. We even took some family vacation.
Plus, I got a house husband. Everyone at work is so jealous. He cooks and cleans the kitchen and does laundry. And he does yard projects. Below are the pictures of what he was able to do so far. He dug up a patch of the back yard about 6 feet wide that starts at our back patio and continues all the way down to our side yard and paved it. He also organized a deck building party and got a deck built for the hot tub. We recently finished the stepping stones to the deck and planting the area near the deck. The grass looks a little shaggy because we are in the process of reseeding some areas. 


Some before pictures would probably help you really see how much work he did. We have got to see if we can afford to live on one income. This is just soooooo nice!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I wanna live where it is spring all the time
We went to St Paul, Minnesota for the annual winter carnival. We also visited all the friends and family and had fun in the snow. As usual, it was a fun trip and I had a great time. We were actually testing the area out thinking we might move there since I am out of school and have almost 2 years work experience under my belt and the husband is unemployed looking for new work.When we first arrived our stubborn California native 4 1/2 year old daughter just can't grasp the concept of true cold. She thinks she can go outside with practically no clothing on. To prove it, she puts on her cousins' cape and bathing suit with snow boots and says she is going out to play in the snow. It was probably 10 degrees out and snow was maybe a 1-2 feet deep in places. She went out and came back in within 2 minutes and didn't try that again.
She did discover the joys of snow such as, sledding, building stuff out of snow and eating snow and just running and sliding around in the icy stuff. However, she did struggle constantly with the whole mitten thing. Seems it is hard to find mittens to fit hands her size.
We started talking to the daughter about moving to Minnesota towards the end of our stay. We asked, "So, would you like to move here to Minnesota?" and she says, "No, I want to stay in California where it is spring." Ah, such genius.
In the meantime, the husband and I will keep our job searches open to Minnesota and see what happens.
The first picture above is the daughter at Grandpa's cabin. The ice sculptures were part of the winter carnival celebration and were in Rice Park. Below is one of the lions at Como Zoo. They said the lions were raised here so they have no problems with the snow. 
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